Women Love Fest Submission: Larxene FST

[plasmoids]

Larxene, number XII of Organization XIII, is a character from the Kingdom Hearts game series. I will be the first to admit that after KH2, I gave up on the franchise. There were just too many games for too many different systems that I did not own. But when I was super into the games, I was a little in love with Larxene. And who wouldn't be? She was badass, she was ruthless and she was awesome. But sadly, Larxene got the brunt of the hate when it came to bashing female characters in the games. She wasn't like the other girls, who were quiet and princess-y. And she interrupted the perceived sausage fest that is Org XIII.

Oh boo hoo. I'm not going to be introspective about it. Larxene was hated for all the wrong reasons, and even if you don't love her, there's no reason to hate her. So here, have an FST.





"She's The Blade" | Sugarcult
she stole everything your heart desired / now you want it back
Everyone, meet Larxene, with her throwing knives, dirty fighting and ability to bring out the worst in most anyone. Oh, and she hates you. She may caress your cheek, flirt or even seem lovely to you, but oh does she HATE you.

"Supervixen" | Garbage
a hit is hard to resist / and I never miss / I can take you all out / with just a flick of my wrist
I know everyone uses this song for Larxene. And who can blame them?

"Evil" | Ladytron
for your pleasure / at your leisure / use your evil
Evil: who she is, what she does, and how she likes it. Not to mention it makes her awfully happy.

"Not A Pretty Girl" | Ani DiFrancio
and what if there are no damsels in distress / what if I called your bluff
Larxene ain't no Disney Princess.

"Out Comes the Evil" | Lords of Acid
half a pound of heroine / half a pound of treacle / that's the way the story goes / out comes the evil / feel so good, feels so bad
Larxene might appear nice at first, but watch yourself! That fake flirting only goes so far.

"Mary, Mary" | Chumbawamba
be a bad example and do it all again / I'll be uncareful, I'll cause such scenes / and I'll never talk of used-to-be's
The ultimate "I'm a bad girl and I don't care" song.

"Female of the Species" | Space
frankenstein and dracula have nothing on you / jekyll and hyde join the back of queue / the female of species is more deadly than the male
(Don't groan. This is good stuff. Xylaphones, man. Awesome.) Larxene is the only (original) female member of Org XIII, AND she's the most ruthless. How is that not something to celebrate?

"Super Sadist" | Jack Off Jill
super angry / super hated / super evil / super serrated / super guitar / super faded / never sad sad sad / super hated / super sarcastic / super sedated / the super sadist
In the manga, Larxene lounges around Castle Oblivion reading a book about Marquis de Sade, the namesake of sadism. She's one bad lady.

And that one crack track:
Electric Six - "Danger! High Voltage!"
fire in the disco! / fire in the taco bell

ZIP.

I'll be putting this up on 8tracks soon, too, but first, I must go to the dentist!

EDIT Now available on 8tracks!